Let me tell you friends, I love my mission, and my mission is not easy. You've probably heard me say that before, and you've probably heard a lot of other missionaries and returned missionaries say that before. It is the greatest thing ever.
I've gotta admit, my mind has been on overload lately. I am going home next week. Monday night I felt a lot like this:
Post from last fall 2011
I confess, I had a hard moment yesterday. As a missionary, you have a lot to remember, and I also had a lot on my mind, and then I was told something I didn't really want to hear.
I was frustrated. One of my favorite talks came to my mind about a currant bush. I was very much feeling like the currant bush, and I was sympathizing probably a little too much. Sometimes when we face a trial, we feel beaten down, neglected, like we're being punished, like we are worthless, but that's not true in the eyes of the Lord.
I really felt miserable! With my mind going everywhere I also ran into the problem of not having a filter when I would say stuff. I really made myself look really silly, especially at dinner time. I went home that night asking myself, "What is wrong with me? Why can't I pull it together? Why can't I clear my mind?"
I still don't have the answers to everything. I sure as heck pretend like I do sometimes! Confidence can go a long way! That may be a slight character flaw of Sister Franson. I think that God doesn't give me all the answers to keep my humble. Strike that. I know that's why God doesn't give me all the answers. I still woke up this morning and I took some extra time to pray to ask Heavenly Father to help me clear my mind and to apologize and ask for forgiveness for my pride and personal flaws. I just really want to be a good missionary! It is a constant battle.
I then began pondering and quickly became so grateful for repentance and forgiveness, just the simple ability to move on. To me, that is the great message of the gospel- that we can CHANGE and one day we will changed ultimately to be perfected through Christ forever. (See Enos 1:27)
That's the great hope of the gospel to me. I am constantly messing up, constantly making myself look crazy, and constantly needing to repent. So, for my last week, I am still focusing on trying to change. I know that because of my Savior, Jesus Christ, that I can change and that it is never too late.
"Yea, come unto Christ, and be perfected in him, and deny yourselves of all ungodliness; and if ye shall deny yourselves of all ungodliness, and love God with all your might, mind and strength, then is his grace sufficient for you, that by his grace ye may be perfect in Christ; and if by the grace of God ye are perfect in Christ, ye can in nowise deny the power of God." Moroni 10:32
These are the last words from the great prophet Moroni in the Book of Mormon. I know that these are wise words to live by. So, my dear friends, I extend to you that same invitation: Change your life today. Come closer to Christ. Rid yourself of your burdens and your sins and your sorrows. He can help you to change. He will help each of us to one day be perfected and live with Him again.
I sincerely hope that you all have an action-packed day!
Love, Sister Franson