Flashback #21: Expectations and Rule Box

Ok friends. This is turning out to be quite a longer adventure than I thought. I really need to buckle down and "DO IT!" as President Kimball would say. So I WILL finish this.

I just read over this post and it was from last year, almost exactly a year ago. This one was a real challenge for me. I have found that one of my greatest weaknesses comes through my expectations.

I expect to wake up in the morning in my bed and not somewhere else. I expect that the phone will work every time that I use it. I expect that many people are reasonable and kind.

Well, sometimes my expectations don't exactly go as planned... I'd be surprised if I'm the only one this happened to. So I have since learned how to adjust my expectations when they don't happen. Let me tell you, it's great. And it's hard. One time that it wasn't so great, is right here:

Here's a little note about Sister Franson:

 As a missionary, I feel super analytical about gospel principles. The gospel of Jesus Christ is very logical and reasonable to me, even when it comes to understanding the more emotional aspects of it, like recognizing and understanding the Spirit. I can at times be very left-brained as they say. It's all a matter of following instructions and staying within the "Rule Box." And there are different levels of the Rule Box as dictated by the Spirit. The Spirit is the key to opening and selecting from the Rule Box.

One thing I love about my Rule Box is the area labeled "Absolutes." My Absolutes contains eternal doctrines and principles that will never change, such as Jesus Christ is the Savior and Redeemer of the world. The true and standard words of Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ are Bible, Book of Mormon, Doctrine and Covenants, and Pearl of Great Price. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is the only true and complete gospel on the earth. And, stemming from the latter statement, all handbooks stamped with the Church logo and statements approved by the General Authorities and especially the First Presidency are added to the Absolute portion of the Rule Box.

So, this last weekend Something messed seriously with my Rule Box.

DDDAAAA!!!!!! "My brain is crazy," as one of my newest friends would say. And I want my rule box placed back in order. In fact, I want to share my knowledge and comprehension of certain principles from my Rule Box to fix the Something that shook the Rule Box. But as I am filing through the Box and placing ideas and items in their place, I find no rule, solution, or best option that can resolve the mayhem in my mind.

So, what's a Sister Missionary to do?

With the help of others who aided in the project of recompiling my Rule Box, I found the answer:

"Let it go."

NO!! I can NOT let it go! The something violated the Absolute section of the Rule Box! Life must be placed in order.

A petty life lesson, isn't it? I mean, the answer is simple and placed right in front of my face, but I don't want to do it. In fact, I feel as if I can't do it at all. I refuse. Yes, I recognize that my pride is in the way, but I am not doing anything wrong besides that. I'll just repent when I feel that I can. I have done nothing wrong. In fact, it was the Something that broke the rules from my Rule Box. Shouldn't I figure out a way to tactfully and nicely fix the Something? It's practically my responsibility! I know what's wrong with it!

But.

That is not how the Savior loves.

Sometimes... the natural man in me feels very small when the Spirit speaks.

So, I'm going to let it go.

Am I entirely happy about it? Not yet. But I will be! Soon I hope, too. What am I learning about this experience? Patience.

And patience I... am still learning!

Have an action-packed day!
Love, Sister Franson